I’d like to share some life lessons that I’ve accumulated over the years which help provide perspective and a positive focus, particularly when negative things happen. I’ve used stories and metaphors to bring the lessons to life.
- Everything Is Temporary
There’s a famous quote attributed to Heraclitus: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
Picture the river for a moment—always moving, always changing. The water you see right now will be gone in seconds.
When we’re stuck in a difficult situation—an ongoing conflict at work, a difficult customer, working for a bad boss etc, it can feel overwhelming, like the situation will never end. It’s important to realise that things will eventually change and improve, especially if we take proactive action. Stress passes. That boss who made things unbearable? Gone too.
Likewise, when we experience good things in life, it’s important to remember they won’t last forever either. Joy passes. That job you loved once? Eventually, it’s time to move on. We need to live in the moment and appreciate what we do have – even if it’s for a short time. Be grateful for compliments, partners, pets, successes at work and celebrate them.
Remembering that everything is temporary has helped me find calm in chaos and gratitude in the good times.
- Gain Perspective
Picture an ant crawling along the ground until it encounters a large pebble. From where it stands, a single pebble seems like an enormous obstacle. It climbs, slips, and struggles around it—utterly absorbed by the effort.
But imagine zooming out to the mountainous terrain. From above, the pebble is almost invisible in contrast to the landscape. That tiny ant problem? A blip.
This story reminds me how easy it is to get trapped in our own heads. A disagreement with a colleague, a missed deadline, an awkward moment. These things can feel huge in the moment, but when we gain perspective, when we rise above the immediate and zoom out, we realise most things aren’t as serious as they might feel.
The next time something seems overwhelming, zoom out and ask yourself, ‘Will I even remember this in 2 weeks/2 months/2 years time’?
- Self-Doubt Is for Dummies
In a quiet meadow, an oak tree towered above everything else—strong, tall, impossible to ignore. Beside it grew a wildflower—small, delicate, easily overlooked.
The wildflower often felt inferior. “I’m not tall like the oak,” it thought. “No one gathers in my shade or carves initials into my bark.” It wondered if it mattered at all.
But one spring, a little girl walked right past the oak and crouched next to the wildflower. She smiled, picked it gently, and tucked it behind her ear. It brought her joy in a way the oak never could.
The truth is, you don’t need to be louder, bigger, or more like someone else to be enough. Sometimes your quiet presence, your kindness, or your timing is exactly what is needed in that moment.
Remember that everyone’s winging it more than they admit. From CEO’s to celebrities. The ones who succeed aren’t the most talented, they’re the ones who countered the negative self-talk and stopped waiting for permission to believe in themselves. You are enough!
- You’re Not Special
That sounds harsh, especially in contrast to the last point but this statement relates to how we can get weighed down because we think a negative situation is only happening to us.
I went for a swim this morning and this concept was illustrated beautifully. A lady, let’s call her Susan, was happily swimming her laps until another lady, Jane, entered the lane, and as she swam, she splashed. Susan became noticeably annoyed by this and the fact that she had to keep stopping because Jane was swimming at a much slower pace. Susan could have easily moved into another lane to continue her swim but instead she chose to suffer and become a slave to her negative emotions. I could almost hear her internal dialogue “Why does this always happen to me?’
We see this kind of behaviour in the workplace all the time when things don’t go our way; we whine, complain, and think “Why do I have to deal with this?” “I have the worst boss in the world” ”I’m so stressed!” and we think we’re the only one in that situation or dealing with that issue. It’s quite liberating to consider that you’re not the only one, there are plenty of other people in the same, if not worse situations as you. You’re not that special! You’re just human like everyone else.
I remind myself I’m not that special when I have a really early flight to catch or when I have to clean up cat vomit or when family problems rear their ugly heads. We all have stuff to deal with. By thinking you’re not that special, it helps bring perspective and focus on what needs to be done.
- Let It Go
A man sets out on a long walk across the countryside. At the start of his journey, he picks up a small rock and puts it in his backpack—something someone said that stung. A few miles later, he picks up another—a regret from the past. Then another—an old grudge. By the end of the day, his bag is heavy, and he’s exhausted.
He sits down beside the road, frustrated and sore, and wonders why the journey feels so hard. A stranger walks past, notices his discomfort, and asks, “Why don’t you empty out the rocks?” The man replies, “I’ve been carrying them so long, I forgot they weren’t part of me.”
How often do we carry things long after they’ve passed? Resentment from a past meeting, embarrassment over a comment, regret for something we can’t undo. We’re still holding onto it, still replaying it. But the truth is, all these things are just rocks. You can put them down.
Letting go doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen—it means releasing its grip on you. Naming it. Learning from it. And then, putting it down.
The road is easier when your bag is lighter.
These are the stories I return to when things feel heavy, confusing, or just a bit too much. Maybe they’ll find a home in your thinking too.
What metaphor or story has helped you shift your thinking? I’d love to hear it.
If you’d like help improving your resilience, contact Jill on 1300 850 959
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